Living, Again
by Coldpockets
Summary: IchiRuki. Rukia was ready for death when Ichigo saved her. Now she has to come to terms with that.


Title: Living Again  
Rating: K  
Word Count: 1000  
Prompt: _Death_. IchiRuki. Around 1000 words.  
Warnings: Possible spoilers for the Soul Society Arc. Cliches. Slight slight slight unintentional AU.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this story. I do, however, own the plot.

Author's Note: **J T Elroy** gave me the prompt for this way way back in July. Which I looked at, typed up 200 words for and forgot. Naturally. I was going through all my files recently, though, and found this and decided to finish it. He might not even remember this, but I had fun writing it. IchigoRukia is one of those het pairings that will always have a place in my heart, so this story is one of my favorites. He said about 1000 words, so of course I made it exactly 1000. Which is actually harder to do than one might think. Anyway. Enjoy.

* * *

Rukia, facing the Soukyouku, hopes to whatever gods exist that Ichigo doesn't succeed. She hopes he is too late, too late to save her, too late to see this. She wishes she could have thanked him, but she doesn't want him here. She's terrified he'll actually save her, now that she's ready to die. She's prepared for this carefully, released her wishes and hopes but for that one, and erased her regrets. Death doesn't scare her anymore. She's seen it in many faces: a soul dying, leaving the world of the living; the purging of hollows; deaths in combat of the soul reapers; and once, a long time ago, an execution. But now it's so much more personal, so much more important, looming as it is so that it takes up the entirety of her future. She hopes in the next cycle she'll meet  
Ichigo and his friends again. She breathes in, she breathes out. For this death, she's ready.

In a blaze of fire and spiritual pressure, Ichigo is suddenly there, like a saviour wreathed in light and power. She can barely see, blinded by the fire and  
and the light, and it seems like Ichigo can drive even Death off with his own personal light. And he does. In a few blazing moments, he destroys anything  
posing even the slightest threat to her life, and Death retreats. This, more than anything, frightens her. The new prospect of living is daunting, at best,  
and Rukia doesn't know whether to thank or kill Ichigo for the opportunity.

Her recovery takes an infuriating amount of time, and she fidgets uselessly, having been instructed by Captain Unohana not to move or leave bed. Renji and Ichigo visit often, alternately vying for her attention and glaring at each other. They both bring her news, which makes the situation at least bearable. She asks about her brother often, and knows Renji goes to visit him every day as well. She wonders if Byakuya finds it as infuriating as she does to be confined to bedrest. She uses the nights when even her best friends are ordered out of the room to contemplate and choose. She has two choices, and she's sure that choosing between them is going to kill her. She can choose Ichigo, the world of the living, and all the new friends who fought so hard for her. Or she can choose Renji, the Seireitei, and the people and world she's grown up with—the world she belongs in. And when the day comes for Ichigo to leave, she's no closer to making that choice than she was to begin with.

She goes to apologize to Kuukaku, because no matter where she ends up, this day is the end of an era in her life, and she wants to start afresh. The woman looks at her with hate-filled eyes, but as Rukia watches, the words falling from her mouth, the hate swirls away to reveal acceptance. Somehow, this complete stranger understands, knows the burden she's been carrying for years. Rukia could sob with relief, sinking to the ground on quivering legs. She feels new and clean of evil.

When Ichigo finds her, she can tell he's expecting her to go back with them. His brown eyes are clouded with confusion when he sees her dressed as simply as she is—certainly not clothes appropriate for the journey to the world of the living. It breaks her heart to tell him she's going to stay, and she knows then this choice has long been made. She begs silently for him to ask for her to return. Just ask, and then she could say yes. But he doesn't, he just nods and says goodbye and that's it. And that could be the most tragic thing of all: the man she loves won't even ask her to be with him.

When Ichigo is gone, she falls back to her knees, not even caring that she's breaking down in front of a total stranger, unable to resist. The woman comes up and places a hand on her shoulder gently, and Rukia gives into the sobs. It's a tempest, sudden and over in a few moments.

"Don't let him go without knowing," Kuukaku says, quietly, looking after the boy. Rukia rubs at her face and stands, feeling awkward.

"I can't," she sighs, staring at the grass by her feet. Kuukaku, however, seems to decide she's done enough and moves off back to the gigantic tower. Rukia keeps staring at the same spot, seeing two ants scurrying around uselessly. And then, she realises, Kuukaku is right. Everything she wants is right there, within reach; all she has to do is take that first step. She's off running before she thinks about it, finding Ichigo gathered with the others, seemingly just waiting around for no reason. Rukia rushes straight into Ichigo's arm, leaning up and kissing him before he can finish his question of "Rukia, what--". She wraps her arms around his neck, and the kiss is clumsy—probably Ichigo's first, even—and she can tell he doesn't know what to do with his mouth or arms and hands. She pulls back to look at him, and his eyes are softened, warm in a way she hasn't seen before.

"My place is here, Ichigo." He looks confused and his usual scowl settles back onto his face.

"But I want to be with you anyway. Can we try?" Ichigo smiles and kisses her, which is more than she would ever have thought to ask for.

It's hard to watch Ichigo walk through the gate, and Rukia almost runs after him, calling 'take me with you', but Captain Ukitake puts his hand on her shoulder and she knows that this is the right thing to do. And when she is stationed in Karakura town, she imagines they'll see quite a bit of each other. For the first time since she was taken back to the Seireitei, Rukia wants to live.


End file.
